Persuasion & Influence

Most people never give thought about what words fly out of their mouth. It comes straight from an unconscious reaction and completely exposes their internal representation of the world…their true feelings and opinions.

Here are three words that can enhance or destroy your persuasion ability. And, when you hear them from others you’ll have greater insight into why you feel the way you do when they speak.

These three words are: “and”, “eventhough”, and “but.”

These words can destroy your message by either negating or placing emphasis on the wrong part of what you’re communicating.  They can also enhance your message by negating or placing emphasis on the right part of your communication when used properly.

Read these three sentences and notice how different each one makes you feel…

1. I love you but you hurt me.
2. I love you eventhough you hurt me.
3. love you and you hurt me.

In sentence 1 the ‘but’ negates anything in front of it and places the emphasis on everything that comes after it.  It’s the “you hurt me” part that sticks in your mind and the “I love you” isn’t as important or invalidated.

In sentence 2 with ‘eventhough’ it’s just the opposite.  The part before ‘eventhough’ is what’s felt as important.

In sentence 3 when you use ‘and’ it places both sides of the sentence on equal footing.  “I love you” and “you hurt me” end up with the same weight in your mind.

So, how do you use this in your persuasive life?

One of the best ways to establish a sense of authority or credibility is to admit a weakness or flaw in your product or service.  You don’t want to say that what you’re selling is a piece of junk however you want to admit something that is a small flaw, nothing that may kill your deal, just something small that could become an objection.  Then after you say it you say the magic word, “but” and add the great things your product or service can do.  This slides those minor issues into non-existence in the prospects mind.

I don’t like mentioning anything bad at the end of any presentation, sales letter or and situation.  So the ‘eventhough’ method I would use is to put ‘eventhough’ at the beginning of the sentence then the negative statement and then the positive statement.  Example is “eventhough you hurt me I love you.”

Now, with ‘and’ I have a lot of fun.  I use ‘and’ when people give me compliments and when they voice objections.  Let me explain.

If someone gives you a compliment one of the most hypnotic things you can do is say, “that’s right and…” then say what else they can get from buying from you, what else you can do for them, any other positive thing.  They’ll zone out for a second and everything you say drops right into their unconscious mind to act on later.

Now, here’s what to do if someone voices a minor objection, I’m not talking about a deal killer, one of those minor things you would put in front of a ‘but’ if you were the one that brought it up. They object with, “I hear your service is a bit slow to respond sometimes.”  You can reply with, “That’s right they are sometimes and you’ll have access to them 24 hours along with this special XYZ to reduce the need for service anyhow.”

In this situation using ‘but’ would have been bad because you would have invalidated your prospects thought.  By using ‘and’ here instead you’re allowing them to hold their thought, not argue with them, and it quickly diffuses the situation.

Go out and play with these three words (okay 4 words).  Notice the difference response you get when you use ‘and’, ‘but’, and ‘eventhough.’  Let me know your results.  It’s one of the things I love to hear and you get to profit from this practice.

Tags: copywriting, hypnotic language, Insight, Internal Representation, linguistics, Magic Word, Persuasion, sales

Using a metaphor is one of the best ways to really drive home your message. It’s like greasing the path for your ideas so they slide into your customer more easily and without resistance.

I’m constantly working on my storytelling. It’s an area any persuader should begin mastering. However, not all metaphors need to be long stories.

According to Wikipedia a metaphor is, “language that directly compares seemingly unrelated subjects.” When I first learned about persuasive metaphors I started comparing everything. I highly recommend you start doing this. It is Yoga for your brain.

While I was comparing things I realized I was consistently asking myself, “What’s that like?” From this came what I think is the quickest and easiest way to create powerful metaphors. . .

“It’s just like. . .”

Here are a couple of examples to draw out how you can use this in your persuasion arsenal.

Signing up for X (whatever you’re selling) is just like riding a bike. It was scary at first and you were probably afraid to make a mistake and get hurt. But, as you look back, you did it. You learned how to ride. There was someone to guide you just like with this program. Once you get on and start riding we’ll guide you to stay balanced. If you fall we’ll pick you up, wipe off any dust and get you quickly riding again. It’s a skill you’ll always remember throughout all your life.

Did that start a movie in your mind of someone learning to ride a bike? Did it help you transition the fear of buying into the ease of learning? Here’s another. . .

Persuaders that don’t learn to use metaphors are like unwanted bugs in your home. They’re interesting creatures and sometimes bizarre to look at. Some have a powerful and potentially deadly bite. But, you generally don’t want them in your house and when you do see one your impulse is to immediately kill it.

Simple and to the point, right?

So practice for yourself. What’s the first thing that pops into your mind when you read these?

• What’s your job like?
• What’s a call from your mother like?
• What is the product or service you’re selling like?

Usually the first thing that flashes in your mind is what you should run with. Take that flash of creativity and begin describing it. What are the positive aspects? What are the negatives? Doing this regularly will keep the gears in motion that drive your metaphor creativity.

It’s just like when you were a kid. . .

Tags: Metaphor, Selling, Stories

Persuasion is a beautiful art. It’s one of those things that not everyone can do well. And, those that do it well often do it by accident. It’s an elegant dance that can be learned when you break the individual pieces down and analyze them.

When you think of persuasion, influencing or selling, you probably think of the manipulative used car sales type. We’ve all seen the stereotypical slick salesperson obviously out to part you from as much of your money as possible without considering your desires or providing real value. That’s not what I like or encourage.

I was at my mother’s house today for her 60^th birthday. While watching my son play Wii, another guest mentioned to me he just bought a brand new large TV and entertainment system for their new home. He said, “After I picked what I wanted, the guy helping me asked if I wanted to buy a Wii. I asked how much they were and he told me about $250. So, I said, ‘when they go on special I’ll get one.’ They guy helping me then told me they never go on special and they’re lucky to have them in stock now so if I want one now would be a good time. So, I bought one.”

I noticed a lot in what he said and how easily he was sold. Here are a couple items I quickly picked out:

1. This was a “Would you like fries with that?” up sell. McDonalds makes a ton of money every year with that six word question. Once you get a commitment it’s always easier to get just a little bit more.
2. After purchasing a couple thousand dollar entertainment system a $250 up sell doesn’t seem like as much money. This is a law of contrast. If he was only there buying a $15 music CD a $250 option is a lot of money. Compared to the couple thousand he just spent on the entertainment system a $250 purchase was a very small price.
3. “The guy helping me.” Whether or not the salesperson’s title was actually “salesperson,” the customer did not perceive him as a salesperson. He was “the guy helping me.” He was trusted and providing help. There are many factors to this and I did not learn enough about the event to find out how “the guy helping me” earned that title.
4. “The store was lucky to have them in stock.” There are a few things implied here:
   1. They can’t keep them in stock because they sell so quickly.
   2. You are lucky to be here today so you can buy one. A feeling of good fortune and “specialness” for my friend because he’s there when they’re in stock.
   3. Scarcity gives an added illusion this is something special. If he doesn’t act today he will have to wait until a store has one in stock to buy.
   4. Social proof this is a “hot” buy because they’re selling out so quickly. It’s the “Everyone wants one so it must be good” mentality.

This is not an exhaustive list of the interaction. I’m sure there were many other factors that attributed to his easily saying “Yes!” But, this is what I thought I’d quickly share from the conversation.

Whenever I hear stuff like this I often start thinking:

1. What is the strategy or strategies behind what happened?
2. How can I apply these strategies in my persuasive situations?
3. Where are the key moments of power where one begins to get or lose control of the situation?
4. What can I do to prevent or minimize the points where I could have lost the sale?

You can see the persuasive tactics used here were not manipulative or pushy. The salesman simply asked for the sale and quickly answered a couple of questions with some loaded answers.

Persuasion is a beautiful art.

Tags: Cialdini, Persuasion Strategies, Scarcity, Selling, Social Proof